ISSUE NO. 1 · THE HALLOWEEN EDITION · OCTOBER 2026
IN THIS ISSUE
① XOXO, Marco
② Recipe: Stuffed Intestines
③ Costume watch
④ SPORTS! Section
⑤ Halloween parties of the past
① A LETTER FROM THE FUNHOUSE
Dear Silly Gooses… Geeses?
(cue a flash of lightning, a distant scream, and the sound of Jello demolding)
Mwhahahah, it's my favorite holiday, Halloween! Famed actress, Oscar winner, and gay icon Jessica Lange puts it perfectly:
"That's what gays do: munch butts and celebrate Halloween."
— Jessica Lange.
I could not agree more, Jessica. For those still on the fence, yes, I'm gay, and yes, Scary Gary is gay. For those even more confused, who is Scary Gary? He's a gay Halloween icon at Marco's Funhouse. Big butt muncher.
Scary Gary, gay icon
Halloween has been my favorite holiday since I can remember and I can thank my mother, Regina, for that. Regina made every holiday magical, but Halloween, you could tell she lit up the most during. My favorite activity was decorating the house for Halloween. My siblings HATED decorating and would always make excuses to not be there, which, let's be honest, was a blessing for both Regina and me. She got a gay son who thrived at being creative and decorating. And I, a proud mama's boy, got to be an only child with my Mom for a day.
That's where Scary Gary comes into the picture. Regina was a HAPPY Halloween kind of person, very cutesy. I was more of a let's-cover-everything-in-blood kind of Halloween. To appease my taste for the scary, she brought home Scary Gary, who, please don't tell him, is not scary at all. He's rather cute and handsome. We are in love.
This simple task of decorating my childhood home with Regina opened quite literally a monster within me. My husband and I throw one of the greatest Halloween parties ever. For 6 months I build and transform our entire home into a literal haunted house. We remove ALL the furniture and turn every room into its own mini work of art. Some people think we're absolutely crazy because we literally live in a bloody Halloween construction site for months. So much blood. (See below for photos!)
So why? I think Halloween is the one night a year you get to be a kid again. You get to play dress up and be anyone you want to be. It's a moment to let go of whatever bullshit games life is playing on you. It's a moment to be with friends and family you love. It's a moment to live in your nostalgia.
Nostalgia. Oh the sweet, sweet smell of Nostalgia. That sweet plastic smell from all the cheap decorations and masks, a pillow case filled with candy (pillow case was the ultimate trick-or-treat vessel, fight me), coming home to Regina's classic stew served in a pumpkin. Nostalgia is the core of why I started Marco's Funhouse.
And because of the joy we've shared, I started this Gooseletter so we can keep growing this community and take a moment together to find some joy.
NO YOU'RE CRYING SCARY GARY! I hope it inspires you to make something spooky, cook something gross, connect with the community, or just smile. Have a very safe and spooky Halloween season. SPORTS!
XOXO,
Marco
② RECIPE CARD · A TRICK AND A TREAT
Scary Gary's Stuffed Intestines
As you know I love making gross food, but apparently “not everyone wants to gag from what they eat.” But just because the taste won’t make you howl, doesn’t mean we can turn a stomach or two! Halloween is the time to practice the art of making delicious food look gross and nothing is grosser (or more delicious) than this make ahead party trick. Er, treat.
PREP
30–40 min
BAKE
25–35 min
SERVES
10
Pick your filling: Pizza · Sloppy Joe · Philly Cheesesteak
③ COSTUME WATCH
Costumes from around the internet
It's 3am, I should be sleeping, but instead I'm scrolling TikTok. STOP JUDGING ME SCARY GARY! From my expert opinion and deep scientific research, the perfect costume:
1 · Has some sort of interaction. I love a little story, prop, or action that can come with a costume to help break the ice when talking to people at a party.
2 · Is comfortable. Halloween is a marathon, not a sprint. God bless you girlies in short shorts and high heels.
3 · Easy to make… but doesn't look it. Think attention to detail or lots of parts that make a costume look out of this world. Homemade or simplicity of creativity are what make a costume special.
And now for a few of my favorite costumes from around the internet, including a submission from yours truly :).
Dollhouse by @snoozybunnie > think of the props, people!
The Claw Game by @raeinthelife03 > so much power to make or break a child's heart!
A worm by @momsaidno > if Heidi Klum can do it, so can you!
A fishing lure by @mainstreetfamspam > so jiggly!
A box of popcorn by @noellevenegas > the balloons and the styling are selling it, hunny!
Cousin It by @cocoadreamboat > it especially helps if you're an adorable dog!
A Triple Dipper by @makingitwithabby > she even got the cheese pull. MY HEART.
Bushes by @steinersrunningwild > I don't know why, this one just gets me!
A car wash > this is me and Danny! Spray bottles in hand, giving his grandma a clean.
④ SPORTS! · TODAY'S LEARNINGS
5–7 pitches: the average lifespan of an MLB baseball.
FIVE TO SEVEN PITCHES! I can’t have a damn plastic straw because ONE straw got lodged into ONE sea turtle nose ONE time?! Yet baseball players are running around here using a ball FIVE TO SEVEN times before it’s TRASH! According to Science that's roughly 120 baseballs per game! 10,000 balls across one team's season! 300,000 balls across all MLB teams an entire season! That doesn't include practice, spring rehearsals, or playoff and all that bullshit. ONE baseball manufacturer makes 2.6 million baseballs a year. This feels like a wild amount of baseballs. What makes a ball unusable after 5-7 times…who can I speak with about this. And that’s what I learned on this month’s SPORTS section.
⑤ HALLOWEEN PARTIES OF THE PAST
Eat, drink and be scary
I have built a bit of a reputation for some epic Halloween parties. Funner fact, all of my decorations are frequently so disgusting that I can’t post on social media without getting flagged for content warnings! But now, I hold the megaphone! Eat it, Zucker! So below, please enjoy a few highlights from my past few years of parties. As you can tell, we put our blood, sweat and fears into this badboy - and instead of charging our friends, we make it a FUNdraiser! Check out some highlights below.
Theme 1 · Santa's Killage
1. The reindeer on full display. 2. The elves' workshop. 3 & 4. A big igloo entrance. 5. My shining angel tree topper. 6. Santa reminding us all that YOU BETTER WATCH OUT. 7. Mr. and Mrs. Claws. 8. A bathroom with a million Santas watching you pee. 9. Our snowman with real limbs.
The only thing I love more than Halloween is Christmas! So this year we merged the holidays - featuring the heads of the reindeer hung sadistically upon the wall (Rudolph’s red nose rained red punch…or blood!) The elves’ workshop was strewn with elf intestines, and a snowman made of (mostly fake) body parts. The party was completed by Danny and I dressed as Mr. and Mrs. CLAWS…and it was completely ruined when our long nails made us useless and our contacts needed to be emergency extracted by friends.
Theme 2 · Night of the Living Coven
1. Hansel and Gretel in front of the syringe cauldron. 2. The magic book pouring into the ceiling. 3 & 4. Our witch's cottage bathroom. 5. Serving midnight margaritas. 6. Professor Trelawney in the dark room. 7. A hex on those who couldn't attend. 8. Our entrance ritual of candled heads.
This was the first year we encouraged everyone to come in theme and did they deliver! We anchored the decoration with a spiral of spells coming out of an enormous cauldron of jello shots that I made. The bathroom matched our costume, Hansel and Gretel, with a stove full of children and candied eyeballs.
Theme 3 · Space Disco
We are not a one-note wonder - we can go fun as much as we can go gory! This last year we held our space disco - alien DJs, an enormous space ship sucking up cows and returning shots, and a full intergalactic bathroom that also had a looping podcast of me and Danny talking nonsense for an hour. The hosts for the evening were yours truly dressed as DJs Space Bar and Backspace that actually lit up when pressed!
You made it to the end. YOU ARE A ROCKSTAR, BARBARA.
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